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Ditch the wax, ‘the Chewbacca’ is back

Hey girl: You don’t need to be smooth.Body hair is in.
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How do I know? Vogue’s Anna Wintour told me.

Now, I don’t consider myself a violent person, but if I ever come face to face with Wintour I swear I will crash-tackle her and ruffle her perfect hair.

She With The Terminally-Bored Expression must be really bored.I guess there is a long time to ruminate between Met Galas, so why not pronounce a rule that Brazilians are out and Big Foot is in?

It is worth noting that old sour puss’hair style has not changed in about 100 years, so I’ve no idea why peoplelisten to her cutting-edge tips. And, for the record, I have no interest what’s going on with her hair-removal regime.

I remember a few years ago I received the fashion news flash (also from Vogue) that cleavage was no longer in. So, effectively, it was a signal for everyone who had breasts to stay indoors until Vogue gave the OK to be seen in public again.

Imagine my relief when the “Humans with breasts: you can come out now” memo arrived.

A few months later I was shocked to find out that it had been decreed from some palatial bedsit in London’s frock district, that diamonds were out.

I texted my friends “Pack away your Harry Winston and Cartier rocks until the coast is clear”.

Some might remember when a skirt hem was the only fashionable measuring stick. Now nothing on one’s person is safe.

If someone else can see it, it’s fair game.

As I sit behind my mahogany desk at Vogue (Newcastle office) I have consulted my colleagues (closest girlfriends) about what’s so hot right now. Hold onto your wigs, here’s what’s in:

Bingo wings:wave your insecurities goodbye.Stomachs:they never really went out. Agirl’s gotta eat.Hair: anywhere, except nostrils or soup.Broken capillaries:they are red hot.Big undies: tighty-whitey hot.Noses: best held aloft to look down on the unfashionable.Stay classy, it’s mighty hairy out there.

Oh, andif in doubt, pout.It’s worked wonders for Wintour.

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